Graduate School Perseverance
It was Y2K - the turn of the century. A lot of people in IT were on standby. Like 2021 New Year’s Eve, my Y2K celebration was low-key, as I was on-call in case there were technical issues. This was the perfect opportunity for me to reassess my career- I yearned for something more fulfilling. I quickly found my passion and skills to be more fit to have both business and technical expertise. I had a few long-term goals for the new millennium - I wanted to get ahead in life professionally, be financially secure, have my own house built, and start a family - I was already married for a year at that point. I always saw myself as a career woman and knew the role I was currently in was part of my growth, but didn’t see myself in this role forever.
I learned my company offered employees the opportunity to pursue higher education at 100% tuition reimbursement. I studied my butt off for the GMAT and exceeded the score needed to be admitted to a good MBA program. I knew it was going to be tough to juggle a full-time career with being an aspiring MBA professional, but I had all the resources available to me, as well as the drive to succeed, so it was too hard to pass up. I was ready to dive in.
I chose to attend a major university in downtown Chicago a few nights a week, including Saturday mornings. I lived and worked in the suburbs – working or attending classes remotely were not options back then, so leaving the office on time to travel to downtown Chicago during rush hour for an evening class was tricky. Classes were tough and very demanding, especially taking two classes in the same semester. In my mind, a full-time student can easily knock that out, but I worked and commuted. I chose to continue to juggle the responsibilities and suck it up.
Halfway through the program, I had my son, went on maternity leave from work and took a semester off to spend time with him before going back to the craziness. We moved into a house we built close to the state border when my son was a year old. The challenges continued to pile on. Our routine consisted of taking him to my parents’ home in the evening, attending class, picking him up from my parents’, then heading home. We’d get home shortly before 11pm, just in time for my husband to leave for work. He is a Respiratory Therapist and at the time worked nights at the hospital, so we would just find little pockets of time to catch up with each other. This routine was extremely exhausting, especially when weather was a factor, that sometimes I would scream into my pillow with frustration that I put myself and family in this position. Was it worth it? Throughout this time, I was operating on autopilot and it was now starting to catch up with me.
Did I make the right decision to go to grad school? I had days I was able to handle, but there were days, not so much. One weekend I was up on a late-night work call and heard my son cry. I had just finished studying right before my work pager beeped. I put work on hold and ran to his room to find him covered in vomit and burning up. I checked his temperature – a dangerous 105 degrees. He caught the flu. I lost it. I couldn’t do it anymore. I started to cry with him while I cleaned him up with shaky hands and tried not to panic. What the heck was I doing? Am I kidding myself? Was I really trying to be Superwoman and do it all? My mind was overloaded with everything all at once – school, work, family, and all the demands that came with them that were out of my control – OMG! My world came crashing down, but I went into damage control mode. I told my colleagues I had a family emergency, had my husband paged at the hospital, told him to meet me at the ER entrance so our kid can get checked out and cursed at every red light on the way to the hospital in the dead of night.
I revisited my inner struggle of continuing my pursuit of the advanced degree. This was too darn hard. But my goals were still strong in my heart, and somehow, I mustered the strength to keep going. I wanted to be financially secure and be more open to career opportunities. I wanted my son to know that I cared about my goals enough to follow through and that no matter how hard it gets, keep the end in mind. With the continued support of my employer, moral support of my family, traveling about 100 miles a day several times a week, through sweat and tears of exhaustion from working and studying for five years on the part-time program, while raising a child, I graduated on a Spring morning with a Master of Business Administration degree, magna cum laude. Did I walk across that stage not caring who saw me in tears that summed up the journey? You bet I did!
I learned so many things about myself throughout this whole journey. I learned to persevere and trudge through the tough times, because in the end I was rewarded. Career opportunities opened and I became more fulfilled professionally and financially. To this day I still see the benefits of meeting that goal and I am extremely proud of that accomplishment. My son is now a college student, and I hope he knows that I set the mental stage to succeed when times are tough and everything is stacked up against you. As we start a new year in the new decade of this millennium, remember these when you’re struggling to meet your long-term goals, whatever they may be:
Always think of your ‘WHY’. Repeat it constantly to give you the boost to move on.
Tap into resources that will help you during your darkest hours. Lean on your support system –faith, family, friends, even counselors/mentors. They will help you get through this. Your emotional health will thank you.
Your journey will teach life lessons that will carry on. Your failures and struggles are the path to something much bigger and better. That journey and the success that comes with it can never be taken away from you. You will be stronger – I PROMISE.
Those three letters after my professional name are my Family Legacy. What will be YOUR legacy?
-Gail
