Inspire Gen Z
“Would you be interested in coming back to IMSA as a guest speaker for our entrepreneurial program?” These are the words from the Entrepreneur Program Director at the Illinois Math and Science Academy (IMSA) after my talk at the Girls IN2 STEM event last Saturday. My jaw was on the floor (figuratively) and then I remembered very quickly about the PhD who discussed impostor syndrome and that I was definitely falling subject to it in that moment. My answer: Abso-freakin-lutely!
On Saturday, I spoke at the Girls IN2 STEM inaugural event at IMSA. With so many wonderful women to discuss each of their topics, I was honored to be chosen as a speaker. There were talks on the gaming industry, paths into STEM careers, impostor syndrome, and more. My talk was less technical, but I felt like it was important for girls in the technical field to hear. I re-crafted my blog post “Be a Unicorn” to better fit a younger crown. I spoke about fitting in and how I made it work for me. I’m no expert on cultivating young minds, but I know that I’m not the only one with my story.
Although I’m a nervous public speaker, I was actually much less nervous about this event… even though it was a 20 minute slot! For me, it’s easier for me to speak about my personal experiences because I know that no one can tell me my story is wrong. I felt like I really connected with these girls. They asked some great questions, I got a few laughs, but what I wasn’t expecting was the type of engagement I would get from these girls after my talk. I spoke to probably 20 girls individually about my career, my personal experiences, ways they can build their college resume among a variety of other questions about UL. I was so floored that these girls were listening that intently!
I don’t have a ton to write about this week in regards to this event except that it was my first step into what I aim to do with the rest of my life. While my job means the world to me right now as a Business Development Engineer and I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, I know my calling is working with those young, talented STEM minds to inspire them to go after their dreams. I’m looking forward to how I can improve this experience for my next audience. They deserve it.
If you’re curious, my transcript for my whole talk is below:
What are some stereotypes of an engineer? Shout them out. We’re going to use this later.
By a show of hands, how many of you feel pressure to fit in? (pause) Let me tell you a secret: that feeling as an adult, does not go away on its own. It goes away once you find confidence and courage within yourself. It took me until I was 25 to truly accept who I was and what I was capable of. I’m here to share my story with you in hopes that you will find it sooner, and in turn find true joy in your life and STEM career.
I’m not your average engineer. I’m young, blonde, and extremely outgoing and outspoken. I’m a dance teacher and performer in my free time, and I have my own blog. I enjoy makeup and hair stuff, the nails, the fashion – anything that has pink fluffy sparkles, I am ALL OVER IT. My coworkers still joke about my rhinestone stapler, even though they secretly wanted to use it.
I want to preface this talk with this: if you happen to hate all the pink, glitter, and glitz, the things that traditionally have defined us as women, then I challenge you to look for a different takeaway during this talk. I just want to tell you how I made it work for me.
Let’s start at the beginning. This is me at 4 years old. I am the oldest of three girls and if I have any firstborns in here, you know the type of responsibility you have on setting an example for your younger siblings. Both of my younger sisters have degrees in the science field for psychology. I am super proud of them and their passion and drive. My youngest sister Maggie is one who challenges be on a daily basis. Y’all, GEN Z is super woke. You are going to make some serious impact here.
I grew up very close to my cousins and we’re all right around the same age. There was a nice day that we took out the sidewalk chalk (yes, it was 1995) and we played on the driveway. We used to have scooters and big wheels and skip-its and pogo sticks. (anyone know what those last two are?) My cousins and my sister had gotten to work crafting the coolest abstract art (for 3 and 4 year olds) and drawing stick figures riding donkeys. Their creative juices were FLOWING! Meanwhile, I had decided to write the entire alphabet from the top of the driveway to the bottom. I’m not at a loss for creativity, but I am clearly into practicing what I know.
How many of you know who the Spice Girls are? (pause) If you don’t, they’re like the Fifth Harmony of the 90’s. This is me at 9 years old, outfit clearly inspired by the Spice Girls. I thought I was really stylish back then. As you can tell, I loved the leopard print and the platform gym shoes. Outside of my super trendy wardrobe, we took aptitude tests and I was recommended for what my school called “Extended Curriculum”. This meant that during the times that our elementary school classes had math and science, a dozen of us who scored well on the aptitude tests were pulled into a different classroom for a different type of math and science course. While most fifth graders were learning long division, our class had a fantasy baseball project calculating batting averages for our players and determining who would win based on the math. I loved being part of the curriculum. It was challenging and fun and the perfect level to get me to really push my limits in STEM.
Then we hit middle school, where your body starts to change and it can sometimes feel like an awkward phase. In our school district, the many elementary schools fed into 2-3 middle schools which meant meeting new people. What I didn’t know is that I wouldn’t get to meet as many new people as I thought I would. What the district did is they took the “Extended Curriculum” kids from each elementary school and placed them in one class size for all of 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. I had minimal interaction with anyone outside of that class. When our class of kids would walk into an assembly or to join another classroom, kids would always yell “hey, the smart kids are here!” followed by a bunch of giggling.
Have any of you felt like you’re not the right type of smart? (pause) When I was with the “smart kids” I felt like I wasn’t smart enough to hang out with them. They had interests that I just couldn’t get in to. Flashback to the Spice Girls look. When I would try to make friends with kids outside of the smart kid group, they were less accepting. I felt like I was stuck. I started to look for other outlets to make friends and connect with people. I tried out for cheerleading and started taking dance classes. Now THIS, this is what really excited me!
As you can probably see, I had a bit of a complex forming. I didn’t feel like I truly fit in anywhere. This smart kids were too smart, the normal kids didn’t care to hang out with me, and the cheerleaders were only nice enough, maybe I had some dance friends? Needless to say, I developed extreme social anxiety. Anyone have it? It’s SO REAL and it’s SO debilitating. When you’re in social situations, you just want to either run away or cry or pass out and hope you wake up when it’s over. This is important to be said because many of our very bright and advanced minds fall victim to this. I see you. I felt what you feel. And this talk is for you.
NOW. High school rolled around and we had those middle schools add to a few high schools. This meant new people. I had a plan: I was going to reinvent myself. I had grown into my body and had been taking dance classes. We went back to school shopping at Hollister and Abercrombie – since that’s what Lauren Conrad from Laguna Beach wore. I made the junior varsity dance team. I signed up for “Fashion” as an elective to learn things outside of the heavy math and science rigor.
In the STEM sense, I was wildly ahead of many of my high school classmates. I took math and science classes with everyone at least one grade above me, and progressed to AP classes as college credits which I am so thankful for. I made friends with those older classmates, but most of them just wanted to copy my work while the others I couldn’t really connect with. Again, their interests were pretty far outside my own.
I still had this very real extreme social anxiety, so while I had these small groups of friends in high school, I kept second guessing if they really wanted to hang out with me. Most of the time, I would pull away because that social anxiety told me they weren’t really my friends. No cap: even being dance captain won’t get you to fit in. I was so desperate to feel like I belonged somewhere.
As I started college, this master plan to reinvent myself. I didn’t even know who I was at this point, so I thought what does it matter anyway? I packed my bags and headed down to Champaign to study Chemical Engineering at the University of Illinois. My first few weeks were rough trying to find a group of dorm students or classmates to hang out with, but it wasn’t going to stay like that for long. My roommate had plans to join a sorority, and I thought to myself “why not?” THIS IS THE BEST QUESTION YOU CAN EVER ASK YOURSELF AND MY MOTTO IN LIFE. Turns out, a sorority was just what I needed. Some people call it “paying for your friends”, but that is entirely misunderstood. When you go through recruitment, it’s like getting hand selected friends just for you. Not someone you met in class, not someone you happened to meet in your dorm – those friends are location-based. A set of sorority friends is interest-based. I am still friends with these women 10 years later. They are an amazing support system.
This was the first time I truly felt like I fit in. I was being invited to parties and participating in philanthropies. I had boys texting me to be their date to formals. I even joined a sorority based dance team! I thought to myself “this is what fitting in feels like!” But as college progressed to my junior year, my chemical engineering major got smaller and smaller. We went from 120 as a class size to just 72 students the year I graduated.
I had become friends with most of my CheBE classmates to stay alive in our seemingly impossible major. Remember how I said I didn’t feel like I fit in with the “smart kids”? While I had all of this amazing acceptance in my sorority, the group that I had grown to study with found reasons to poke fun at me because I WAS in a sorority. Couldn’t I catch a break???? That dormant social anxiety started to surface again. It made me question: Am I allowed to be in a sorority? Am I allowed have a job at the makeup store? Am I allowed to prioritize networking on the same level as studying? Why am I looking for permission???
After I graduated, I started my first full time job. Yes, UL was my first job, and I have been there since. I worked in a specific engineering department (among the MANY industries that we service) that had this smart kid cliquey feel. They had their lunch groups and their preferred coffee buddies. They had ways that they worked together and people they would prefer to help with their work since most of our work is peer reviewed. Yes, I had my sorority vibes and my dance hobby that followed me, so I started second guessing myself. Is this how an engineer needed to act, dress, work, etc.? I guess I’ll give it a shot… I was miserable for those first three years. I was one person at work and another when I left work, which is mentally draining.
I stumbled on an opportunity that I felt was the turning point in my social anxiety and my career aspirations. Sales. GASP! An engineer selling things?? ABSURD! I’m kidding, but the reality was I had found my niche. I was great with our customers. I knew our services well. I had a groove that was really working for me. My customers and my coworkers liked working with me because I was relatable. Get this: I was relatable because I was just being myself. Sorority vibes, dance hobby, and all! This was groundbreaking for me – people liked an engineer that had hobbies and fun things they wanted to talk about outside of technical requirements. My team was so excited to work with me and learn from me (even being brand new) that for the first time, I had found acceptance in my STEM career.
Fast forward to now: I am a Business Development Engineer for our Distributed Energy Resources team and I am in love with my job. I get to develop technical content in the form of eBooks, podcasts, webinars, and articles. I also get to work on marketing strategy in the digital space including email marketing, social media, tradeshow and conference workshops, the list goes on. You may ask: how is this STEM? As trained systematic thinkers, we are taught to look for patterns to achieve ultimate efficiency. There is a system for what goes viral including imagery, copy, and target audiences. There is a system for crafting a technical overview training – structure, details, and not giving too much of your technical knowledge away. There is also a system for developing new ideas – really more so the entrepreneurial side like milestones, stakeholders, anticipated barriers, and more.
What I would like to leave you with is one thing – stay true to you because shrinking to fit this mold that we defined up here is not going to do anything but keep you down. It’s ok to question why things have to be a certain way. The most successful companies have the innovators, and those innovators are able to do their job because they are confident in themselves. Think outside the box. Keep your personal edge. Be unapologetically you. Be a unicorn.
