Holiday Stress Hacks from a Woman in STEM
The music, decorations, gift giving, and traditions are all right around the corner. You guessed it, the holiday season. As we reflect, give thanks, and celebrate in diverse ways, the holidays are looked at as the ‘best time of the year’ and often referred to as a ‘favorite’. However, the cheery holiday celebrations are often countered with something not all of us have a great relationship with, stress. Surprisingly, the bright holiday spirits have a large stressful undertone and it can present itself in various forms. Whether it is stress due to financials, family, gift giving, or trying to celebrate during a pandemic, we have to take time out to acknowledge that it exists and may be here to stay.
On an individual level, I am currently working through my Masters of Science program and I have been conditioned to pair the holidays to final exams, papers, projects and presentations. When the holidays begin to roll around, a mass amount of stress is placed on me for a variety of reasons. I am bogged down in final projects that are often accompanied with a final exam as well as ensuring that all my work is in. On top of mastering all the material for school, I am expected to help prepare food, decorate, shop for holiday gifts, and enjoy time with family from out of town all while managing my final weeks of my courses. I find myself slowly becoming more irritable each year when this time rolls around for obvious reasons. I simply just feel too overwhelmed with things on my ‘to-do’ list and often become a chaotic mess. Recently I have learned that I may not be the only one.
A large portion of individuals find the holidays one of the most stressful times of the entire year and that is a clear indicator to assume that this feeling is quite common across the population. We stress over finding the perfect gift for our friends, families, or significant others when in reality we all know the ‘perfect’ gift might not even exist, yet we stretch ourselves thin to ensure that it comes as close as possible to perfection. Yes, as silly as it sounds, you can easily get stressed out shopping or making the perfect gifts for all of the important people in your life. Some individuals continually make it a goal to top last year’s gift and may unfortunately make it a perpetual cycle. Others may be stretched thin to afford financial costs as well as finding the budget for gifts, especially in the era of a global pandemic. They may pick up extra hours and work themselves to the bone to be able to afford some of those items. While the hustle is highly respected, it often comes with a price of physical and mental burnout.
A lot of individuals stress over family get-togethers with what, who, and where these celebrations will take place. If you’ve never felt stressed to see a specific family member or felt the need to show up to a gathering to conform to how they perceive you, you might be lying to yourself. These things are stressful, and it is OK to acknowledge that. If you don’t acknowledge it, then how are you supposed to take the time out to take care of yourself and work on managing it?
This holiday season, I challenge all of you to take a step back to identify and analyze a holiday related thing that may cause you to feel stress. Once you are able to do that, then it’s easier to find a form of stress management to help ease it.
Here are three things to remember as you take on the holidays:
Be realistic with yourself
Imperfect people and things exist and that is more than okay. If we held others to what our individual high standards are for ourselves, they may crumble under those expectations. So, give yourself a break. We have to learn to accept things for what they are and what we are able to provide this holiday season. Granting yourself grace is an important tool to call on when we expect a great deal from ourselves. Socialize this conversation with yourself and stay realistic on what you can accomplish.
Be mindful and grateful for what is in front of you
We get so hung up on the gifting giving aspect that we often forget to thank those around us for simply being a part of our hectic everyday lives. This season make a mental note to appreciate individuals for sticking around during these difficult times. If you have the time, think about making a homemade card to convey this message. Even if you don’t have that ‘crafty’ gene, people still appreciate the thought behind it. This applies and anyone and everyone who plays a significant role in your life. Holidays can be hard enough as is and the pandemic has not made it any easier. A genuine thank you or appreciation can go a long way, especially now.
Express kindness and understanding… even when it’s hard
Keeping a positive outlook and a kind attitude can actually go a long way. For instance, instead of dreading that interaction with a difficult person (whether it be a rude customer, family member, or friend) keep in mind that you are always able to respond to them with a kind and positive outlook. Even though the other party may not be on board, this is important for your mental health and leaves them unable to bog you down with a negative attitude. Remember, we all have flaws and imperfections, but we are always able to control how we respond to others. Those who may be a little ‘rough around the edges’ or rude may be dealing with something you may be unaware of and that may be much deeper than a simple comment during a get-together. The world could always use a little more kindness and compassion.
Hopefully the next time you find yourself feeling tense and stressed out about the season’s greetings, you are able to step back and become more mindful, kind, and remember that perfection does not exist. After all, we are only human and can only do so much before we start compromising our physical and mental well-being.
Take care of you this holiday season.
-Maggie
