Empower

I once heard that cheering for others brings you more energy in your day. I gave it a try and now that’s the only way I want to live. Whether I’m reacting to a social media post or telling you on the phone or in person, I feel your energy in the moment. Cheering someone on sparks a fire in both parties; you just have to be aware enough to notice it.

In celebration of International Women’s Day on March 6th, what is something small but impactful that you can do to empower women? Last week, I had a coworker in our IT department ask me if our Women in STEM group had funding for “other activities”. This struck me as an odd question, so I did some digging on her request to figure out why she had asked this question. Turns out, she was nominated for a Women in IT award. What an incredible experience! I was so excited for her.

Immediately, I started asking all these questions: How did you get nominated? What was the criteria? Who else was nominated? Where is the awards ceremony/dinner? Are you going to the gala dinner? Are you going to the summit earlier that day? What did your boss say? Is your family proud? I was rapid fire, borderline interrogating her with the best intentions possible.

I uncovered that she had not even told her manager yet. She was thinking about not even telling him. I was floored. No freaking way is this woman who works with me going to fund this all on her own. I started rattling off how the award she’s receiving is because of the work she’s doing at our company. And how this nomination should be a moment of pride for her boss. And that she should also take it up to director level to get the exposure.

After we spent a decent amount of time on the phone, she had good direction for how to ask her boss since lately I feel like I have been asking for funds left and right. I checked in with her this week, and guys, she got the approval for the summit, the dinner, the travel, the whole enchilada! I am so excited for her! This got me thinking – how many of us ask for what we want directly? I do it all the time, so I figured I would drop some knowledge here for you.

This is just what I found works for me. There’s probably some fancy book out there that has the right terminology and such, but what the heck:

Always ask in person

Rejection is easy when you cannot see the party across the table from you. I can tell people “no” all day on the phone, but when I get them in front of me, it makes it harder. Additionally, conversation is always more organic when you sit in a room with the other person. They can see the passion behind your voice and understand really what this ask means to you by just sheer energy alone.

Start with the effort behind your ask

When I ask for funds, I make sure to detail my entire strategy around whatever the thing is first. This way it paints a full picture for your approver. By seeing the full vision as you do, the other party gains better context for buy in. Keep it simple: one slide, two to three bullets with maybe a sub bullet on each. Anything longer than that and you’ve lost them. Concise but inclusive.

Detail the benefits of the ask

This is the part where I list out alllllll of the things we will get in return for this ask. Some are measurable, some are more for brand visibility, but seeing these laid out makes it easier to understand not only our gains, but others gains from the opportunity. For the example for my coworker: it is a measurable celebration of the great work that she is doing for the company but it also provides brand visibility for our company in the IT space.

Go for it – what’s the ask

Lay it out on the table after you’ve set it all up. Again, keeping it direct and to the point. I think my favorite thing to do in this situation is to give them time to digest. Let the idea simmer in silence. In sales, we used to call this the golden silence and it’s what I like to call respect for your buyer. You’re giving them a moment to themselves to take all of what you just presented and turn it into an actionable opportunity for you.

I’ll be honest: I feel like I haven’t heard “no” because when I hear rejection, I hear “not now” or “not for me”. My next question to those answers are “when” and “who else” respectively, because someone is going to say yes and asking for a referral is the least they can do for you. As women, we don’t ask for things that we want as often as we should. I encourage you to keep challenging the voice in your head telling you not to ask. The only thing holding you back is yourself.

Let’s go get that bread!